Projek Nasi Lemak - Malam Jumaat

Weekend means pigging out and sleeping in! Well, the Wonder Trekkers were on to the next project to experience an orgasm - Projek Nasi Lemak at Dato Keramat in Penang.

Their excitement was similar to the anticipation for malam jumaat, one of the beliefs in the Malay culture that Thursday night is the best night to make love. So of course they were all-set and ready for the project, bringing along their kinky tools for some adventure...

Projek Nasi Lemak

Coconut Shake
They just couldn't click, although he was a good date... he simply couldn't make her wet. He was too creamy and that made her gag - he just wasn't who she thought he'd be, and he definitely didn't taste like any coco or nuts that she wanted in her mouth.

"So long, farewell Mr Coco Nuts," she bid adieu, "I'm going to get me some Mr Skinny Me!"

Projek Nasi Lemak

Teh Volcano Hijau
First sight, it's a big cup! Yet it was overwhelming... very seductively spilling-over from the cup (of the wrong size). He started licking her sides, and was eager to suck the milky green tea. "I'm fully satisfied," he gasped. And if he were to come again, he would pick the spilt-over milk, but in another colour - hhmmm sweet baby pink, perhaps?

As their main dishes were escorted to them, the fragrance of the rice immediately aroused their senses. The blue-coloured rice itself would tease you into the room of hot mamas making sweet Nyonya kaya blue glutinuous rice cake. Thinking of that simply made them wet.

"It's gonna be a classic night with a baba and a nyonya!" they exclaimed.

Projek Nasi Lemak

Nasi Lemak Ayam 
It might sound cliche, but baba called for the chick. The fried chicken was... good, juicy, moist and well-seasoned but "not the best chick in town that I've tasted" he concluded.

Projek Nasi Lemak Ayam

Nasi Lemak Ikan
Nyonya ordered the fish and the fried fish that came was a big surprise.

"I was expecting a scrawny little fish," she said, "but it was huge, and it was stuffed - it sure was too mouthful for me."

She cheekily kissed the head, gave it a blow and tasted its juicy flesh in her mouth. But it was very unfortunate that the cum stuffing was rather scarce and it didn't take her to climax. She was left with having to scramble for alternative options to satisfy her need... if it wasn't for the accompanying curry and sambal, she would have gone for supper elsewhere.

Projek Nasi Lemak Ikan

The spice-factor was too bold in the curry. "It was like a nyonya who hadn't taken a shower for a week," he said. "The B.O was strong and the taste was too salty for my liking."

Projek Nasi Lemak

But the sambal was the climax of the whole night.  As the saying goes, "good things sometimes come in small packages" - its small portion made them want more.

"Our needs were fulfilled," they agreed in unison, "and its pungent taste lingers in our mouth."

That's one hell of an orgasm - you should really try it too!


PROJEK NASI LEMAK is located at 498, Jalan Dato Keramat, 10150 Penang. They are open from 12.30noon until 2.30pm and 6.30pm until 11.00pm everyday except Mondays.

Tavern In The Park - Turn On, Turn Off

After weeks, if not months of drought, the sky decided to turn on the shower and wet the earth. Oh how rainy days always bring back memories of yesteryears, making them feel nostalgic and craving for some comfort food at Tavern In The Park.

Tavern In The Park

Pumpkin Soup

It was orgasm at first sight when the soup arrived - rich, creamy and thick.

Pumpkin Soup

They licked the first taste off the mildly roasted, fluffy garlic bread, and it is an instant turn off, like how quickly the rain stopped and the rays of sun shone through the clouds, leaving you limp and moody.

"The texture," she bemoaned, "feels like little soft mud balls in my mouth."

Pumpkin Soup

She commented that it was too garlicky. Maybe because of the garlic toast. But he said it was a very onion-ated soup. Oh well, go get your mouth wet and dirty, and share your thoughts.

Crostini
When the dish was served, they both giggled - "threesome on a platter!"

Crostini - Sun Dried Tomato & Cucumber Salsa

At the first (love) bite, the sun-dried tomato & cucumber salsa was a refresher. Imagine dipping fresh tomatoes and cucumber into the farm girl's secret sauce.

"It's ooh-la-la," smacking his lips, "I had fun with the farm girl and I can't wait to taste the other two spread."

The beautiful presentation of the smoked salmon should be a great catch, but it was like the Norwegian girl that never catches fire.

"She tasted so common that I'd forgotten about her once she left my mouth."

Next on, they picked up the chicken wasabi mayo. The combination was a match made in heaven - the pungency of Japanese aroma and wild, creamy American taste.

Crostini - Chicken Wasabi Mayo

They highly recommend that if you want an unforgettable afternoon quickie, try the Japanese-American hottie.

Chicken Mango Mint Chutney Burger with Fries

Outwardly, he had the body builder look - muscular, thick and hard; but in your mouth, he was moist and well-seasoned.

"He is racy and saucy," she shrieked, "I'll definitely come back for a ride!"

Chicken Mango Mint Chutney Burger with Fries

Cold Brew White Coffee

Do you know how it feels to wake up weak after a night of rendezvous? But you need to get up and get going - this thick and slightly bitter caffeine would be the fix. A sip woke him up and his Sunday just got started although the clock was already ticking past 3 noon.

Cold Brew White Coffee poured into a cup

Cold Press Juice

In a nutshell, you'd be sucking pineapple, orange, carrot, lemon and ginger through the straw. Looking at the vibrant colour of the blend, it should have been a roller coaster orgasm with a slender, sweet gal... but she was an old ginger in your mouth.

Cold Press Juice

TAVERN IN THE PARK is located at Hin Bus Depot Art Centre, 125, Jalan Timah, 10050 George Town, Penang. They are open daily from 11.30am until 10pm. For more information, connect to their line at 04-218 9394.


*Read at your own risks. Contents are purely the experiences of the Wonder Trekkers.